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Monday, June 11, 2012


On the road now for almost two weeks, and the load’s beginning to lighten, awarenesses dawning, the stress beginning to morph.  We loaded our last items, the bikes, into the crowded storage space and exited our very clean apartment and OP’s borders at 10:44PM on the 31st, a full 76 minutes to spare on our lease.  I had no idea how much trouble, how much constant work and focus the move toward actual homelessness (our luxury optional version) would be.  I was surprised by the sense of early organization and control, followed by later disorganization and randomness that we left in that storage space.  I had expected a feeling of lightness, freedom, and while I’m sure that sense is approaching – I can feel it hovering nearby – it’s arrival's not been as immediate as anticipated. 

The road itself has been a mix of delight, frustration and promise.  Again, it’s the sense of disorganization that’s been troubling:  stuff had its place at home – keys, wallet, phone charger, corkscrew, hand lotion, ipod, glasses, maps, books, self, spouse, hiking boots – but now life requires total reorganization.  And an awareness that things may not be in that new place, because I forgot, because that backpack pocket had other stuff in it, because this spot seemed logical right now – all adds to the sense of disorientation, senescence, lack of control. 

So that’s the challenge now – letting go -- of the past, embracing the present, the future.  Probably always has been my lesson, just didn’t recognize it.

We’ve just passed the 2K mile mark on this domestic leg.  Have filled the hug/love and fun meters to overflowing already through time with Gen and great friends in Maine and New Jersey. Lots of time in this little car, with this lifelong spouse --life is sweet, changing, surprising, interesting.  Yet that prior life of friends, normalcy, home, library glows in my heart, always will . . . sigh.  

2 comments:

Julia Isaacs said...

Keep those postings coming, Nancy! And thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings about this huge adventure you and your husband are undertaking!

Nancy said...

Thanks, Julia. Seems weird that this journey so far has such impact inside, less outside. I think when we're out of the country it'll feel like the adventure we've been planning.